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The problem with expectations (and what to do about it)

A spiritual approach is most powerful when it marries what seems like two opposites. Leaning In
is proactive and deep breath is passive, yet, combined they act as a powerful force against the
tyrant of idealistic expectationism. They foster a calm, reserved, and wise responsiveness to
what is.

Our expectations; of ourselves, of others and of reality, make Leaning In feel tense, fixated and
aggressive. But when we start with a deep breath, in and out, taking in love and light, as
preparation for channeling that love and light out, we welcome in a sense of acceptance of what
is with a curiosity of what may come. Then “Lean In” takes on a whole new meaning. It means
embracing our NOW, and in doing so embracing the divine.

On the power of recognizing our powerlessness

The brutality of the moment can feel like it might consume us. This overload of tension feels like
the breath is being ripped from our lungs like we are suffocating on the intensity of what might
come.

…and then, we take a moment to breathe deeply. We are reminded that while the
circumstances of the moment are scary and nerve-racking, and the suffering that may come is
overwhelming to consider, the choice to suffocate or breath is still in our power.

Coming to terms with just how powerless we are in the overall arch of the story of our lives is
uncomfortable. It’s humbling and it’s sobering. Yet, no matter how in touch we are with our
powerlessness, we can at the same moment reveal our power, maybe more than ever before.
How we face this moment is in our hands, we can’t control how we feel but we can influence our
feelings by proactively utilizing simple actions that begin with a deep breath

REALITY & HOW I FEEL are both true even when they disagree.

It is very natural for us to get lost in how we feel losing sight of what is. If we like someone;
“Wow, they’re such a good guy or gal”, and if we wake up to some anxiety; “the whole world is
falling apart”, and for today if Social Isolation is getting to; “I just can’t handle this, I am gonna
lose my mind”.

Then, sometimes we strive to tap into the facts and start suppressing how we feel. This works
for a little while, but then we become overloaded with the intensity of our emotions and are no
use to ourselves or anyone else.

Part of Leaning In to the moment is drawing awareness to the space between how we feel and
what is. Doing that means giving prominence to both equally; how we feel is important and what
is going on is important. When they meet that’s useful, but they often operate in different
dimensions, and that’s okay.

Facing the facts and our feelings means tolerating a dialectic where two opposing things can be
both be true in different ways at the same time. Then we are ready to respond to how we feel,
as well as to what is with an acceptance that they are exactly the way they are supposed to be.

How to maintain inner calm by focusing on solutions

When things get tough our natural, and effective, the reaction is to move toward addressing the
problem. This works great until “addressing the problem” is all we can think about. Having
challenges and facing them still leaves us in a problem-oriented mindset.

The next challenge is to make the proactive choice to transition our awareness to a
solution-oriented perspective.

Now that I have all the toilet paper I need;

What can I do that I have been putting off?
What strengths do I have that other people might benefit from?
How can I use this situation as an opportunity for Growth?

When we LEAN into our reality and challenges the solution comes shining through